Thanksgiving...It's Not Just for November! :-)

I'm not sure why but November seems to be the month that I think about giving thanks more than any other month...maybe it has something to do with the fact that there is a holiday that is kind of focused on it...hmm, makes sense. ;)

This holiday shares it's focus in most American families with the food that is served and the football that is played or watched...but it really is about giving thanks...it's how the whole thing got started to begin with...giving thanks to the Giver for provision and protection.

I have implemented various tools in my family over the last couple of decades to keep our focus on the true meaning of the holiday...I have written specific things that I am thankful for about each of my dinner guest next to their names on their place cards...I have tucked Bible verses about giving thanks into napkin rings on the dinner table and I have asked guest to share what they are most thankful for between the turkey and pumpkin pie.

The one thanksgiving tool that I am most pleased with, however, is one that is not just reserved for a specific Thursday in November...it's one that my family has used on a much more consistent basis.

It's our Thankful Journal....and it has a short story behind it.

Years ago when the Joyster and Lopey were just little blue-eyed, freckle faced girls their daddy got sick...very sick...like when the doctor comes and tells you to 'get your affairs in order' sick.  The doctor's prognosis was grim...but God had other plans for the Man.  He worked his way out of ICU to PCU to a bed on 'regular' floor of the hospital...to his bed at home - hooked up to an IV that I had to run and monitor (eek)...which in an of itself is quite the story...for another time.

It was a scary time for the girls...not only did they have to watch their big strong daddy decline and struggle to hold on...but they were told things like they would never be able to wrestle with daddy again or run and jump into his arms without warning even when he got better (one little misplaced elbow or knee would have easily caused internal damage that could have been fatal).

These little girls started asking 'why?'...why did their daddy have to be sick when their friends daddy's weren't...why couldn't they play with daddy...why was this so hard and why couldn't things go back like they were before.

Their mommy started asking 'why?' too...I had made the covenant that would stand the test of sickness with the Lord's help...but these innocent little girls hadn't signed up for any of this and they needed their daddy...what was I to do?

The night that I spent crying out my 'whys' before the Lord became a spiritual marker in my life as God invaded that time and space with His presence and began yet another season of deep growth in me...and it was out of that night that our family Thankful Journal was born.

I felt the Lord prompting me to start focusing the girls (and myself) on all the blessings that each day held...instead of focusing on the scary and hard reality of my man's health crisis.  And so it began...

Each morning at the breakfast table I would remind the girls that their day would be full of blessings from their heavenly Father...ways that He would show them that He loved them and was taking care of them in the midst of this storm.  It was their job to look for the blessings and report them to me at the end of the day.  Each family member had to bring at least one blessing to share at devotion time each night.

After dinner and before bed we began the tradition of sitting together with a journal sharing and recording "What we thank God for today" as part of our evening devotions.  We had all kinds of things pop up during those times...from the big (thankful for medicine to help daddy feel better)...to the seemingly insignificant (hot dogs, warm socks, jump ropes).

Our Thankful Journal taught us all to focus on the blessing and not the crisis...it helped us to focus in on the goodness of God that is around us all the time...reflected in the faces of friends, sunrises, and a roof over our heads.  It taught us to pause, not just once a year, to be thankful for His provision and protection but every day.

Our Thankful Journals have become our family history book of sorts.  As I look back over the years some of the entries bring me to tears...others totally crack me up...they all speak of the Faithfulness of our Father in whatever season of life we find ourselves in.

With the oldest away at college this is not something that we do formally as a family unit every night...we limit our recordings to Sunday's when she joins us for dinner after church...but we all still start the day as detectives - looking past the stress and struggles that come with even everyday life - for the clues (some blatant, others sneaky) that God is actively involved in our lives and worthy of our thankfulness and praise.

So, don't wait until the 4th Thursday of this month to tell the Lord how blessed you are by His presence, provision and protection - grab a journal...any kind will do and create a family legacy of His goodness in your life.

Thanking Him with you,
~Michelle...ApronGirl

Food 4 Thot

Help...I've been Super-Sized!...and so has a huge percentage [no pun intended] of the American population!

So, if you've been reading my Food 4 Thot posts, you know that I am struggling with some added poundage that I collected like souvenirs while traveling the 'health crisis' road with my husband.  I could blame it on the erratic lifestyle that I led for well over year [home---Seattle---home---Seattle], or sleep deprivation or the stress hormone.  I'm sure that these all played a factor...but way down deep I think the nasty little word lazy had something to do with it.

My suspicions were confirmed when reading through the book of Titus recently.  My home church is doing a series on this book and I was doing my homework for it when the possible reality of this hit home!  It was 2 pesky little words in the 12th verse of the 1st chapter that hit me like a punch in my flabby gut...lazy gluttons.  Really, really!?!  Could I possibly have something in common with Cretans...apparently so...at least it wasn't the reference to liars or evil brutes that bore witness with my spirit though...sheesh!

People that know me may think I'm being overly dramatic...not because I'm known for drama...but rather because I'm known for being too hard on myself.  I easily extend grace to others but have a bit of an issue with being as kind to myself...probably because I know me so well...but I am getting better at this...you should have known me in my 20's...well some of you did so can I get an Amen to the fact that I am way better about being self-critical than I was back in the olden days? ;)

In this case I'm not being dramatic or overly self-critical...just exploring with honesty how this lazy glutton moniker could fit me...and maybe other Americans too.  I'm not calling names here...just trying to look into some of the pitfalls of our culture that may have something to do with our my super-sized situation. 

Since I'm a self professed Word Nerd let's start with a definition of the two words that make up this tag:

          Lazy = disliking activity or exertion (Websters)
          Glutton = one who eats to excess (Websters)

Well, I have to admit I do see a slight resemblance...dog-gone-it!

As busy as I have been over the past 2+ years in caring for my husband, trying to maintain my home and yard and attempting to keep up with 2 teenage girls I have been a bit lazy about caring for myself [I do dislike sweating] and I have obviously eaten more than this body can burn in a day.

My aversion to getting up at 5 am  and heading to my now cold garage to bust my behind until I sweat like a pig [do pigs sweat?] and gag like a cat trying to hack up a fir-ball...and my tendency toward unconscious eating [you know the kind where you know you ate but not sure what or how much because your brain was consumed with other activity...by 'you' and 'your' I mean 'me' and 'my' :)]..are not the only ways that lazy glutton may apply to me.

Before I discuss my hunches here, I have a  couple of disclaimers...1 - none of the facts I'm going to share are  facts based on research by case study groups...they are just hunches - some Food 4 Thot - based on my observations and some information I've come across.  2 - I am not blaming culture or industry for my current condition...I am solely responsible for what I do, or don't do with my own body...I am simply  looking to draw attention [my attention...and yours if applicable] to some pitfalls that we may not be conscious of.

First...I have a hunch that the accessibility of Fast Food in our nation has something to do with the super-sized me and American culture.  As much as I know about the importance of good nutrition, not only in general but specifically in relation to my husband's health issues, I have been known to hit a drive-thru or call for pizza on occasion when my body or brain are too tired or overloaded to figure out and pull off dinner.  This may not qualify as lazy in the true sense of the word...and some might even say that choices like that are understandable from time to time given all that's been on our plate lately...but that easy choice [the one that requires less activity and exertion] does indeed lead to gluttony as even the 'healthier' fast food options lead us to eat to excess in the areas of calorie, fat and sodium intake.  In the little research that I did do, I found that obesity in America increased dramatically between 1977 and 1995 as [get this] did the consumption of fast food!  During this same time span fast food intake quadrupled....hmm, interesting don't ya think.

My second hunch...my sedentary life style would land in the lazy column.  Again, the fact that I've spent countless hours [days, weeks] in hospital and doc office chairs may be deemed "understandably out of my control" and not lazy by dictionary definition...never-the-less I should have made more of an effort [other than taking the stairs at UWMC] to off-set the change in my activity level.  I knew that I was sitting more and doing less but you really don't know how quickly this can change your pant size!  By in large our American society has found itself stuck in a similar situation...desk jobs, TV watching, and vehicles instead or our own two feet to transport us through our busy lives.  None of these things are lazy in and of themselves...but unless we make a conscious effort to amend our less active lifestyles we will need a larger wardrobe.

Thirdly...and I'll end with this one before this post ends up way too long [too late for that I know ;)]...the term lazy glutton can be applied to ones emotional neglect.  It's not always cool or timely to deal with our emotional response to something.  American culture is getting a bit better with this in some regards but many of us were raised in the 'buck up and deal with it' era.  And Lord knows there are times when a situation requires just that...but there are times when we need to be honest about how something makes us feel and process that instead of just trying to jam it down with a Twinkie or Frito battering ram.  Depending on our emotional circumstance a heart to heart with a trusted friend or counselor may be just what we are craving.  But there are times when only and heart to heart with the Lord will fill that need...there are times when He is the only One who can understand, counsel and support us.  While walking through this medical crisis with Mercedes Man I drew strength from my trust in the Lord...and I experienced incredible peace in the midst of outrageous storms...but I didn't always connect with how I felt in the midst of it and in hindsight, probably did stuff some of my emotions, subconsciously thinking that it wasn't the time or the place to deal with how I felt.  Looking back there were times, probably out of sheer exhaustion, when my emotional state was laid bare before the Lord...and you know what - He met me there and made it all better.  The circumstance didn't change but my ability to deal with it did.  At times I was so afraid of letting down...you know, like if I start crying I may never stop...but the thing I was afraid of [letting down] became the very thing God used to reveal Himself to me in a deeper and more intimate way...it became a catalyst for boosting me back up.  I've found that being lazy about dealing with my emotions can lead to gluttony in trying to feed a soul hunger in a physical way.  But I've also found this Psalm to fill me up and satisfy like nothing else can...

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you , my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.  Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live and in your name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.  Psalm 63:1-5 [Italics mine]

Just some Food 4 Thot from me to you. :)

Serving Him and you,
~Michelle...ApronGirl

In My Element

Happy Monday to you all!  It's just a gorgeous morning here in the North-west...and I have a lovely view of it here from my 2nd story office, (I use that term loosely).  The morning is just chilly enough to be refreshing, the sun is up over the neighbor's roof and casting interesting shadows across the cul-de-sac and showing off the birds perched in the same neighbor's tree that I am eyeball to eyeball with out of my little window.  Good stuff...obviously it doesn't take much to entertain me! :)

I hope you had a great weekend.  I totally did!  Saturday was comprised of some much overdue cleaning, (only got the downstairs done - but I'm OK with that), and some baking by Lopey...love the smell of brownies baking, don't you!?!

All of this domestic busy-ness was in preparation for Sunday...the Sabbath....the Day of Rest.  My theory - work your tail off on Saturday, then you can enjoy Sunday more.  I don't rest well with clutter around or chores hanging over my head so this works for me! :)  Besides, the Joyster was bringing college friends over!

Yep, two of her new girlfriends were gong to visit our church with her...and since the food isn't served on the college campus until 10:30 (just brunch and dinner on the weekends) and our home is strategically located between her campus and our church (a mother's dream spot), we had breakfast for them here...followed by lunch after church because I just couldn't send them back to school hungry, now could I?

Saturday evening, as I was finishing the prep for Sunday, the Man said that he could see that I was totally in my element...and I was!  Nothing makes me happier than to ready my home for time with family and friends!  And this is something that we haven't had much of in the past 2 years as my husband has struggled through one health crisis after another.  In the early stages of Mercedes Man's battle, I would day dream about happy times and a home filled with those we love...as the road grew longer and bumpier I would just dream about getting back to some kind of normal and relief for my husband.

And then, just like that, there was yesterday!  I'm not sure what I was the happiest about...the fact that it was Sunday alone thrills me (I love taking a day out of the week to slow down and celebrate the Lord with others)...but seeing my husband feeling up to having others over...having my second born baking up a storm in the kitchen...knowing that the first born was coming for a visit - and getting to meet one of her new friends (the other one woke up feeling under the weather and couldn't make it :( )...made it over the top for me!  That may sound just plain silly but it's true...my heart was just plain filled up at the prospect of it all.

And then they came.  The Joyster and her friend...we met her (she's a lovely girl) and had breakfast...went to church and came home...all the girls donned aprons (you can't have a ministry called ApronStrings without having a plethora of them hanging in your pantry) and worked in the kitchen (thanks college girl-friend for jumping right in there with us).  After lunch the Man played Apples to Apples with the girls while I hemmed dress slacks for my girl (she starts observing in an elementary classroom this week and needs to be dressed for the occasion)...and we ate brownies of course! (those of you Food 4 Thot followers, don't be judgin'...Sunday's I give myself permission to sort of eat 'whatever' but in moderation of course he/he).

So, Sunday wasn't fancy...it was just normal and fun...something that we haven't had much of for a long time!  Thank you Lord for blessing us so richly with 'normal' (well normal for us...the college friend may have thought of us as a bit abnormal ;) after a long season of anything but!  I was in my element!  How was your weekend?  What is your element!

Serving Him and you,
Michelle...ApronGirl

Moving On and Moving Out

Well I have had the busiest and most random few days...which means that this blog entry will most likely be a bit random...since I haven't quite settled myself from the random busyness yet!   So well said...makes you want to keep reading, right? :)

So...here's the Moving On part:

Mercedes Man, (aka my husband of 22 years), celebrated his birthday at the end of last week!  And hitting 2 notches above the half century mark didn't even cause him to blink and eye.  Nope, he was excited...as were his girls...and his wife, (that's me)...even though it does seem a little weird to me that I am married to a man in his 50's.  He is a bit older than me, but really how did we get to this phase so quickly?  Probably because we had 2 girls and I've spent the better part of the last 18 years sleep deprived.  Well, that was random...but I warned you that may happen...I'm focusing now.

So why were we all so excited to see the man grow another year older?  Because Mercedes Man is also Miracle Man...which will explain the Mercedes Man tag in a minute.  You see, just a little less than 2 years ago...after battling 10 years of medical challenges, my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer.  (If you know me then you have probably been following my email updates for the past 2 years and know all of this...but for those of you who don't here's his story in a nutshell).  My husband's medical situation is complicated but I won't bore you with the details.  Bottom line, with a liver cancer diagnosis for him, liver transplant was the only option.  It was life or death...it was scary...we were dependant on a miracle because a living donor was out of the question.

In April of 2010 someone else's loss became our gift of life...and we don't take that lightly!  God provided the liver transplant much quicker than we had expected and just in the nick of time.  We later found out that the cancer had spread throughout the liver and in approximately 2 weeks would have grown to the extent that transplantation would not have been an option.  No transplant then would have left us with no man now!  Thus the enthusiasm we all greeted his birthday with!

The miracle of a liver transplant is why we call him Mercedes Man...no, not because there is a doc out there driving a brand new Mercedes thanks to all the medical bills we've paid...well there might just be, but that's not the reason, (and if there is I'll not begrudge him that pleasure since you can't put a price on the man's life).  We call him Mercedes Man because that's the term used for the type of incision made on his belly to get the old liver out and the new one in.   It looks pretty much like the inside of the Mercedes emblem.  The scar starts at the bottom of his sternum, splits off at the top of his abdomen and the right (liver) side extends farther, wrapping around the side.  We have post op pics but I won't share...grody...but I'm just thankful that he didn't have a scar called the VW! :)  In fact we don't mind the scar at all...we celebrate that too...as a sign of the miracle God worked through the hands of a highly skilled transplant team.

Mercedes Man has had many serious complications on his road to recovery, but he is doing some better now.  He's Moving On into this second chance of life and we are happy to be going with him!

Now on to Moving Out...not the same emotional high as Moving On...more like a roller coaster of 'mom feelings':

While celebrating the man's birthday we were also busy moving the 1st born into her college dorm...and so the roller coaster effect began...

Pride - for all the hard work that the Joyster had put into landing scholarships and getting loans and grants,  Thanksgiving - to the Lord for all He has done in her life and this situation to bring her to this place, Sadness - that my girl doesn't sleep down the hall from me or come home every afternoon to tell me about her day anymore, Relief - that we have texting (she even sent me a pic in her '1st day of school outfit' :))  Excitement - to see how she grows and all that the Lord has in store for her in this next phase!

She is just down the interstate from me (thankfully not in another state) and I will get to see her more than some mom's get to see their college kids (another thankful moment) but I did think I might cry when I saw her settled into her dorm room and we had to drive away.  This would have been huge as I am not a mom who cries much...didn't do the Kindergarten cry - usually embrace each new phase with excitement for my kids.  But going into this felt so much different than anything before.  I knew she was right where God wanted her and that she would be fine, (her sis and she had weathered being without either parent post transplant for 2+ months), but I wasn't done with her yet!  I love my teenagers...sometimes they make me a little crazy...but they are great girls and a lot of fun and I miss them when they are not around.  However on that move-in weekend, (her university drags it out with a lot of family activities - more to help the parents than students I'm sure) I had such a sense of peace and joy that not a single tear formed, let alone dropped...of course knowing that she's close enough for me to get to her if I want helped too!

She looked too darned cute in that dorm room...and we were having too much fun settling her in and touring the campus!

Life will be different...

But she will only get better and better because of this God given opportunity...

and hopefully I will get better and better at trying to figure out how to parent through this phase of life

When it comes right down to it, I guess I am celebrating Moving Out too...because for the Joyster it is a Moving On and she is headed in a great direction...and via text messages I'm getting to enjoy much of her ride!

Serving Him and You,

~Michelle...ApronGirl

Just like Riding a Bike...right???

It's been awhile...that's an understatement!

I haven't blogged, on my keyboard anyway, since the 1st of the year. I've thought many blog entries however, while seated on a plane or in a hospital or doctor's waiting room. That's where I've spent a lot of my time this year.

But, I figure, blogging must be just like riding a bike. There might be big gaps of time between opportunities, but you just hop right back on and do it!

Blogging does require a bit more cerebral creativity and clarity than peddling a two wheeler. I'm not sure I'm up for a spin...something mushy and cloggy has taken up residence recently between my dangly earrings.

Big medical learning curve, lots of technical terms, huge decisions, a myriad of detailed planning...cloggy...mushy...

Even with the 'challenges' that I am facing there is one thing that I know for certain - my God is faithful!!! Just like the appearance of the daffodils in my neighbors gardens, the Lord's beauty shows up in my life over and over again.

Things have been hard and challenging for months and months now...no pretending. But, the Father's hand has been faithful...

His grace - amazing...

His mercy -fresh...

His provision - abundant...

His presence - better than anything!

I don't know where this Spring day finds you...or what kind of Winter that you have had to weather these last several months...

But I do know that the God who has been faithful to me desires to make His faithfulness known to you!

How have you seen His fingerprints on your life?

A Bad Taste?

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, probably even used it a time or two, "Now that left a bad taste in my mouth!".

This is a phrase used to describe an event or situation that can leave one feeling that they've just been dealt a blow that was unfair or experienced a circumstance that could leave them feeling bitter.

What types of occurrences would fall into this category? How about a relational betrayal? Maybe a financial crisis? Would health challenges qualify?

After several months of not blogging you may be wondering why I decided on such a cheery subject for my return. Well, my absence from the blogging world has been due in part to a series of unfortunate events that could indeed be defined as leaving a bad taste in one's mouth.

Starting 9 months ago, my husband has been through one series of health issues after another. Some of these demanded expensive and grueling tests, others landed him in the hospital and flat on his back, the latest has required travel out of state in order to seek treatment from specialists. We've found out that medically speaking, the only hope for a cure for my man is an organ transplant! In the middle of racking up costly medical bills, my husband was laid off from work. At this point, he may be too sick to return. I haven't worked outside of the home, (with the exception of occasional ministry engagements), for almost 17 years...I may not be able to search for a job because my husband needs my care. We have exhausted our savings and retirement...blah, blah, blah. Anyone need an Altoids?

I'm not going to kid you. All the breath mints and chewing gum in this world will not disguise the fact that these situations are awful! But you know what, I am not left with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Some of you might assume that means I'm floating down that river in Egypt...Denial =]. Others of you might try to give me some credit for being a strong woman by nature. I am a stubborn gal, but any ability that I have in and of myself to endure all of the challenges of these last 9 month was exhausted a long time ago.

So, how can I say that these challenges haven't left me with a ginormous case of bad breath? Life has indeed given my family a holiday sized plate of bitter tidbits, but God, (don't you just love those 2 little words - but God?), has shown Himself faithful to us time and time again!

You see, as this blog is titled, I have had the opportunity to Taste and See that the Lord is Good! (Psalm 34:8a).

In the midst of our mess God, by the mercy of Jesus Christ and through the power of the Holy Spirit, has given us the grace needed to endure, the peace that passes all understanding, promises from His Word to cling to and friends and family to encourage, help and pray for us.

Our situation is big, but our God is bigger. We have made the choice to trust in His goodness and faithfulness and love toward us. Putting our focus on Him doesn't just make the challenges of life palatable, (like holding your nose while trying to choke down your least favorite food), but growing in intimacy with Him out of desperation leaves you with a taste in your mouth that is sweeter than you can imagine! As another Bible verse puts it, "He satisfies me as with the richest of foods".

Are you faced with a situation today that could leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth? Seek the Lord and allow Him to fill you with His goodness. You don't have to wait for life to serve you a big plate of 'yuck' to savor the sweetness of the Lord. Even if you are in a great season of life, or are just experiencing calm, you can still be filled to overflowing with His sweet presence if you just seek Him!

Kick Off to a Crazy Week

Hey gals, I hope that this note finds you all doing well and enjoying some springtime sunshine...I'm having a moment here myself!

My man's medical procedures went well last Thursday...Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow! He had a couple of down days due to pain and is still trying to adjust to some new meds, but overall he is good.

I, on the other hand, am a scattered mess. Time that I had allocated to devote to writing for the retreat I'm speaking at this coming weekend...Can't wait!!!...was used in helping my husband. Therefore I am really behind in prep.

So, no Verse to Chew On this week and probably no other blog posts as well. I know that the timing of my husbands medical issues, in relation to this retreat, didn't take God by surprise and I know that He will be faithful to meet me and supply His Word for those precious ladies, but I need to 'hermit up' and put in my time.

Things should be back to normal next week. Not only will our weekly devotional by up and running but I plan on adding in a new weekly spot called Worship Wednesday!

Praying that your week is filled with special Jesus moments!

Cherish the Moments

Two weeks ago my husband received some bad news in the way of lab results. This is nothing new for us. Frankly the doctors didn't think my husband would still be with us at this point. We fondly refer to him as the Miracle Man. Apparently the Great Physician had plans that the doctors didn't know about.

Although we have lived for 8 years knowing that my husband has a non-treatable illness, his results did take us a little by surprise. He says he feels pretty good, he looks pretty good :) and he is still working to support our family and busy in ministry. On paper, his situation is a little disconcerting but we are remembering that the Lord is the sustainer of his life.

One good thing that comes from news like this is the reminder that tomorrow is promised to no man. I, along with my husband and daughters, learned a long time ago not to take even the simplest things for granted. Things like time together, a sunset, or birthdays. But the longer we've gone past the experts estimation of my husbands life span, the more we've lost the appreciation of the ordinary. This news made me wake up and smell the coffee and even enjoy the decaf version of life...you know - the days that don't have the extra caffeine zing! :)

We received some sad news last week. Friends of ours lost their young adult son to an accidental death. My oldest daughter is friends with their youngest son, my husband and I have admired and enjoyed this mom and dad. Our hearts break for them.

This entry is not meant to drag you down with the challenges and grief that this life holds, but rather to encourage us all to enjoy each day and every one we love just as they come. This week, let us all take time to smell the coffee so to speak, whether it comes in some exotic coffee house blend or a generic grocery store can. Thank God for the obvious blessings in life, ask Him to help you see the ones hidden in the mundane or challenging situations. Hug your husband and your kids and tell them you love them, really love them!